Tag Archives: media

Open your mind

Sky and RaysDo you want to know what really gets my goat?  When I come across people with closed minds.  The worst offenders are the scientists, experts and ‘ologists’ that are wheeled out whenever something wonderful, mysterious but inexplicable happens.   If it hasn’t been, or can’t currently be proven by modern science then it has to be rubbish, the people who chose to have an open mind on it are branded loonie toons in some way shape or form, and the verdict is delivered with such a supercilious smirk that I just want to throw a shoe at them.

Greg over at Quantum Spirit has recently posted a piece on reincarnation that I find absolutely fascinating, heart-warming and exciting.  I’ve long believed that reincarnation is a possibility and this video certainly seems to support the theory.  As Greg has done, I have posted the YouTube video because that is what is available to paste into my Scrapbook here, but do please visit the Fox link where you will be spared the inevitable supercilious smirking scientist at the end.  (Oops…you don’t know him do you)?!

With thanks to Greg therefore for finding this, here is the YouTube tape:

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Skewed priorities

newspaperIt’s amazing how with the death of Michael Jackson time seems to have stopped.  People have stopped starving to death in Africa, there are no wars, no threats to world peace, no environmental disasters, no companies announcing mass redundancies, entire nations are no longer financially crippled and global warming is no longer a threat to the future of our planet.  Phew.  Thank goodness for that then.

As my husband said this morning whilst watching Sky News:

‘We’ve had fifteen minutes of Michael Jackson, 15 seconds of British detainees being released in Iran, 10 seconds on the policing of the G20 summit and 5 minutes of Wimbledon.’

It’s good to know we have our priorities right.

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The heebie geebies

Director Tim Burton is currently applying his considerable talents to Lewis Carroll’s ‘Alice in Wonderland’ – due for release in March 2010.  I actually always found this a rather unsettling story as a child, which is why I’m not a hundred percent sure that I will be rushing out to see this film.  Having had a look at the character and set stills displayed on the IMDb site, it looks as though Tim Burton’s imagination has run rampant again, producing an amazing result … but one which may just give me the heebie geebies.

Alice in Wonderland

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Gaga Pants

Control-briefsAccording to UK retailer Debenhams, sales of control pants have risen by 30% since the rise in popularity of singer Lady Gaga.  Good thing too, I can’t be doing with all those strings.  A girl needs to keep her kidneys warm.

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Milan Fashion Week, June 2009

Here’s a heads up on what men will be wearing next year – these are part of the Alexander McQueen collection being shown in the current Milan Fashion Week. In the collection are suits smeared with paint, crumpled and worn trousers and knitwear that comes with ready-made holes. I guess we may all be on skid row by then so it should be a pretty easy look to emulate …just head down to the local charity shop.  There’s not much more to say about that really, is there?

AlexanderMcQueen, Milan09i

AlexanderMcQueen, Milan09ii

Photos from Vogue UK

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Police complaint

Cranky old ladyThe other day I was sent the following exchange of email correspondence which made me giggle, especially as the sender, who knows us very well, suggested that it had all the hallmarks of our family.  Really?  I can’t think why! …

This is a genuine complaint to Devon & Cornwall Police Force from an angry member of the public.
A true email sent to the force, lengthy but brilliantly written…..
——————————————————————————
Dear Sir/Madam/Automated telephone answering service,
Having spent the past twenty minutes waiting for someone at Bodmin police  station to pick up a telephone I have decided to abandon the idea and try e-mailing you instead.

Perhaps you would be so kind as to pass this message on to your colleagues  in Bodmin, by means of smoke signal, carrier pigeon or Ouija board.

As I’m writing this e-mail there are eleven failed medical experiments (I  think you call them youths) in St Mary’s Crescent, which is just off St Mary’s Road in Bodmin.

Six of them seem happy enough to play a game which involves kicking a  football against an iron gate with the force of a meteorite. This causes an earth shattering CLANG! which rings throughout the entire  building.
This game is now in its third week and as I am unsure how the scoring system  works, I have no idea if it will end any time soon.

The remaining five failed-abortions are happily rummaging through several  bags of rubbish and items of furniture that someone has so thoughtfully dumped beside the wheelie bins. One of them has found a saw and is setting about a discarded chair like a  beaver on ecstasy pills.

I fear that it’s only a matter of time before they turn their limited  attention to the caravan gas bottle that is lying on its side between the  two bins.
If they could be relied on to only blow their own arms and legs off then I  would happily leave them to it. I would even go so far as to lend them the matches.

Unfortunately they are far more likely to blow up half the street with them  and I’ve just finished decorating the kitchen.

What I suggest is this – after replying to this e-mail with worthless  assurances that the matter is being looked into and will be dealt with, why not leave it until the one night of the year (probably bath night) when there are no mutants around then drive up the street in a Panda car before doing a three point turn and disappearing again. This will of course serve no other purpose than to remind us what policemen actually look like.

I trust that when I take a claw hammer to the skull of one of these throwbacks you’ll do me the same courtesy of giving me a four month head start before coming to arrest me.

I remain your obedient servant
???????

———————————————————————

Mr ??????,

I have read your e-mail and understand your frustration at the problems caused by youths playing in the area and the problems you have encountered in trying to contact the police.

As the Community Beat Officer for your street I would like to extend an offer of discussing the matter fully with you.

Should you wish to discuss the matter, please provide contact details  (address / telephone number) and when may be suitable.

Regards
PC ???????
Community Beat Officer

———————————————————————

Dear PC ???????
First of all I would like to thank you for the speedy response to my original e-mail.

16 hours and 38 minutes must be a personal record for Bodmin Police Station,  and rest assured that I will forward these details to Norris McWhirter for inclusion in his next Guinness book of Records.

Secondly I was delighted to hear that our street has its own Community Beat Officer.

May I be the first to congratulate you on your covert skills? In the five or so years I have lived in St Mary’s Crescent, I have never seen you. Do you hide up a tree or have you gone deep undercover and infiltrated the  gang itself? Are you the one with the acne and the moustache on his forehead or the one  with a chin like a wash hand basin? It’s surely only a matter of time before you are head-hunted by MI5 to look for Osama.

Whilst I realise that there may be far more serious crimes taking place in Bodmin, such as smoking in a public place or being Christian without due care and attention, is it too much to ask for a policeman to explain (using words of no more than two syllables at a time) to these twats that they might want to play their strange football game elsewhere.

The pitch on Fairpark Road, or the one at Priory Park are both within spitting distance, as is the bottom of the Par Dock, the latter being the preferred option especially if the tide is in.

Should you wish to discuss these matters further you should feel free to contact me on <???????>. If after 25 minutes I have still failed to answer, I’ll buy you a large one in the Cat and Fiddle Pub.

Regards
?????????

P.S If you think that this is sarcasm, think yourself lucky that you don’t work for the sewerage department with whom I am also in contact !!!

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Midsummer's Day: a conundrum

AliceWhite_01Hey, here’s a question for you:  Why, in the northern hemisphere, do we call 21st June ‘Midsummer’s Day’ when 21st June actually marks ‘the start of Summer’?  Aha…

Did you know that in meteororololololgical terms Spring begins on 1st March, Summer on 1st June, Autumn – 1st September and Winter – 1st December?  Those dates make more sense to me in terms of what the weather is actually doing, certainly where I live, and in my own mind this is closer to how I think of the year. (That still doesn’t make ‘Midsummer’s‘ day on 21st June mind you).  Confusing, innit?

Well, just who went and confused things by willy nilly declaring the start of the seasons as the 21st of March, June, September and December?  I bet it was those pesky Christians (no hate mail please – to all intents and purposes I’m one of them …which doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m currently a fully paid-up member of the club).   If you know the answer, do tell.

………………………………………………………………….

Happy Fathers’ Day to all the Dads out there.  If you haven’t already, check out the videos I posted yesterday:  A funny (and wincingly painful) clip from the brilliant Paul Merton’s trip to India, and maybe my favourite ad of all time (well…so far), the Guinness surfers and white horses ad.

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