Category Archives: Smile / Humour

Strong letter to follow

Writing3

What is wrong with people do you think?  Why do so many ‘Trolls’ exist?  If we met them in the street, would we know that they had some personality disorder?  That they had failed to take their medication that day?  That they were close to a full mental breakdown?  Or do they in fact work in our offices, at the next desk to us?  Fine by day, completely bonkers the moment they get in front of that keyboard at night?  Is it stress, do you think?  The sheer pressure of modern life?  That really they’re apparently normal, coping with life, but inside they’re a seething mass of rage, a maelstrom of mad, disjointed thoughts?  Ready to snap?  Go ‘postal’ if just one more small obstacle gets in their way?  What do you think?…because I’m genuinely intrigued.

I received a series of emails recently via another website that I run – and the person sending them (named ‘Christopher’) screamed and yelled at me in the  !!  LARGEST!  POSSIBLE!   TYPE!  !!  (Yes, it was the usual Troll format – embellished with plenty of emboldening and exclamation marks).  They ‘informed’ me of various inaccuracies in the information on a single page of my site.  Seriously, it was as though I was confronted with a screaming toddler in a terrible tantrum, writhing on my living  room floor.  I toyed with whether to respond at all because if this person is a genuine nutter I really don’t need to be dealing with that right now.  Then I thought that I should afford him the benefit of the doubt and I responded as below (only, as it seemed appropriate, I also did so in the largest possible type):

I acknowledge receipt of your emails.  Do you use some special kind of keyboard that only allows you to type a few words at a time?  I only ask because I wondered why it was necessary to send me a whole series of short notes.

I shall assume that you have some kind of disability or physical impairment and that you are not, in fact, being so rude as to yell at me – hence the very large text of my response here.

If you look again at my site you will see that I clearly state on the ‘Home’ page that it is a hobby site of mine.  It also clearly states that it was last updated in August of 2008.  Maybe I should have put all that in larger type and in capital letters, so that people such as yourself would be able to see and therefore understand that, as a hobby site, I don’t always have the time to keep the information contained therein right up to date.

~~~~~~~

Yes I did get a response.  Why d’you ask?  I’ve cut and pasted it, ‘as is’  here:

Well, at least you replied, now spend time getting your HOBBY up to date.

Yes I do  have  a disability, thanks you for mocking it!

Angelcel to Christopher:

Christopher  – me too.  Which is why I find it difficult to keep up with my hobby and why I found your emails unnecessarily abrasive in tone.

He’s gone away, for the time being.  Maybe he’s just taking time to re-group and then attack me again.  What I’m hoping, however, is that our little exchange will make him think twice in future before blustering into someone’s home, spitting venom like some kind of Benzedrine puff adder. 

The internet seems to have encouraged this kind of behaviour.  Most of us still don’t resort to yelling and screaming  at one another in the street at the drop of a hat (thank goodness), so the closest equivalent to this is probably nuisance phone calls, which are also, thankfully, a rarity.  Yet the prevalence of  Trolls on the internet seems to be on the increase.  Why?

You’ll have gathered by now that, yes, he annoyed me, but that I’m also a very old-fashioned type of a girl, still fondly holding on to the idea that if we all treat each other as we would like to be treated then the world can and will be a better place.  My husband, on the other hand, who deals with rude numbskulls way too often in everyday business, takes a slightly different approach.  I have to tell you that when I showed him the series of original emails he was quite adamant that if I felt the need to respond at all then the best wording would be: 

Fuck Off.  Strong letter to follow.

His approach does have the merit of simplicity.  Maybe he has a point.

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Filed under Home, modern life, People watching, Smile / Humour

The all singing, all dancing Chattering Monkey

DJ MonkeyWe’re going through our own particular little brand of hell here at home right now and just as I need to rest and recoup at night my brain is fighting me with that ruddy chattering monkey that lives in my head. I’ll get, say, 4 to 5 hours sleep and then my brain pops awake !~ping~! and thoughts, or music, start to tumble around as though I’ve been wide awake and at some social gathering for the last several hours.  Just lately it has been a wholly (or unholy  😉 ) musical awakening.  I’ve abruptly sprung to life for the day to the following:

Monday Night

‘My fingertips are holding onto the cracks in our foundations.  I know that I should let go but I can’t’.   (And repeat).  (And repeat).  (And…    )

Tuesday Night

‘If you like it you should have put a ring on it.  If you like it you should have put a ring on it.  Uh oh oh ohohohoh…  (And repeat).  (And repeat).  (And…    )

Wednesday Night

‘I~i~i~iiii, I need your LSI to give me your love, sex, intelligence, comin’ through with the things you do to me’  (Rinse and repeat).

DJ monkey has a reasonable taste in music,  it’s just that I don’t need to hear it, repeated, over and over, AT 4 IN THE MORNING! 

Why do our brains fight us, when what we need is a little co-operation and a whole load of rest?

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Filed under health, Home, modern life, Smile / Humour

Definitely Eddie

I feel in the mood for a bit of a giggle.  This is Eddie Izzard from his very funny show ‘Definite Article‘ and here he is talking about the famous experiment with Pavlov’s dogs, except this time applying it to cats. Eddie clearly knows a thing or two about our feline friends:

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Filed under media, Smile / Humour, Things to make you smile

Help ?

BlondeFor about the last week and a half the internet access from my house has suddenly started to run with all the speed of a geriatric and infirmed snail.  It’s taking a minute or more for each page to load and that takes all the joy out of internet surfing.  It’s a good thing I’ve had plenty of cleaning to be getting on with because on some occasions I’ve undertaken two tasks at once – uploading another of my photos to the web and then going off to do a bit more housework while the computer sits there, apparently contemplating the meaning of life, the universe and everything.  I’m not a computer geek, as well you know, so my only technomabobble solution was to clear my cache.  I only know about this because Googlemail sometimes bleats on about my need for a clean out and I’m forced to pay attention and follow their instructions.

So.  Yesterday I went about purging myself of all the crapola that secretly gets salted away on my computer as I surf.  I had a quick look through what was there, hoping to just delete the obvious rubbish because, of course, a complete purge means having to sign in all over again at all the many password protected pages that I use.  [I’m not one of those people who uses the name of their pet guinea pig at every single site from bangra beat to on-line banking so remembering every sign in combo is a complete pain in the proverbials].  My cache list made for fascinating reading – for someone like me who is already mentally stunted from hours spent staring at half-loaded pages.  Who knew that I needed a cookie installed for on-line wrestling?  (?!?) Or that cookies were needed for any number of diet sites (there’s an irony in that statement, isn’t there?) … especially as I’m not aware of ever visiting such sites.  In the end it became too hard to sift through everything, trying to identify whether or not it was needed, so here I am, having to sign in everywhere again.  That’s OK I suppose – it’s exercise for my poor befuddled brain.  However, you know what alarms me?  …Well two things actually:

a]  When I’m visiting sites like my Hotmail account, I can hear a stream of that ominous tap, tap, tap, click, click, clicking going on in my machine that means that plenty of crapola is being dumped on my machine, to replace the crapola I just got rid of, and

b]  My internet access is no faster.

Any ideas anyone?  Technical assistance would be greatly appreciated, especially if you are able to couch it in words of strictly one syllable. When it comes to technical matters, any more than that and I involuntarily start to glaze over.

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Filed under Home, modern life, Smile / Humour

Women – Know your limits!

A Friday giggle from the brilliantly funny Harry Enfield.  I laugh at this but, rather spookily, I’m pretty sure I did actually see a ‘public information film’ not far off this when I was a very young child!  My how times have changed (I hope).

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Filed under media, Smile / Humour, web memorabilia

Dolphins at play

The photo below appears in today’s Daily Mail.  Temporarily banish any question (as I have) over whether it’s right or wrong to keep these beautiful creatures in captivity.  The fact remains that they are a joy for us to see close up. It’s believed that they are exhibiting play behaviour by blowing bubbles which they then break into smaller bubbles by biting them.  The smaller bubbles rise rapidly to the surface and the dolphins occasionally like to swim through them.  Although I may not think it’s right to keep dolphins in captivity, it’s nonetheless a photo that makes me smile.  They look like a bunch of pals, happily posing for the camera.

Bottle_nose_dolphins

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Filed under media, Photography, Smile / Humour, web memorabilia

Saturday Snapshots

Posted for Teasingly Diverse’s ‘Saturday Snapshots’ (‘1st folder, 1st photo’).  It’s quite a coincidence, given Chere’s own photo, that mine too is of a young animal.  This is our cat Bo, photographed at the start of last year when she was about 16 weeks old.  She is ‘modelling’ a Fererro Rocher hat (as provided by my youngest daughter).

Bo, Feb 08

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Filed under Home, Things to make you smile